Yesterday we had what CPS calls a permanency planning meeting. We were unsure what exactly this meant and what was going to occur in the meeting. We all went into this small room and they hashed out the case. I went through many different emotions and thoughts during the two hour meeting. On the way home while Buck and I were debriefing what went on we both realized something. We talk about how we believe that people can change and that we all have been given second chances however, at times we don't act as though we truly believe this.
To be honest with you, 90% of the time we pray that our little ones' birth mother gets the help she needs and makes the changes she needs to and I believe she can. But I found myself in this meeting almost rooting against her for a small time. I wasn't wanting her to fail however I did think "I wonder if she can really do all of this they are asking." I left with lots of questions, some concerns, and a deeper understanding of their birth mom. She too is human, she too needs second chances, she too needs encouragement and people in her corner!
After sitting through this meeting I hope that we are able to encourage their mom better and that she knows we are in this together and not against her. And that in the end her little ones (all of them, not just he ones here) will be in the best place for them to grow and flourish.