One of the most important lessons I have learned in our foster care journey is that life does not take into consideration that you are fostering; things still happen. You learn how to finagle it all. You plan your schedules around CPS visits, counseling, the several medical appointments you have to do and family visits. It just becomes your new normal. I find it easy most of the time to praise God in this time.
Then there are times when the emotions of your little one in care become big. Think about it, you are 3, taken from the only parent you know and placed in a strangers home. You cannot communicate well but you do know you don't like what is happening. What you do know is how to yell, how to say no, how to hit, how to cry, how to fight for yourself. It becomes harder to balance the every day when emotions become big but still my heart knows this is part of it. This is what God wants from us. My family can still praise him.
Then there are times like the last week where you find your two worlds colliding. You see my husband injured himself and it requires surgery. He cannot drive or do much of what he use to do to help out.
To be honest there have been times since his injury where I have found it hard to praise-to power through yes but not praise. Schedules, emotions, anxiety, and even our food choices have all been off for the kids this week. At one point a friend called and asked how things were going and my response was "I have four kids crying and maybe one adult."
However here is what I know. Even still we can praise Him. Even when, it feels so hard, we can praise Him. I went to a conference a few weekends ago and heard a new (to me) song, My Hallelujah. It's been on replay all day. Here is the chorus (and the link will play the song),
O, what can take away
My hallelujah
No darkness can contain
My hallelujah
Your cross has made a way
For my hallelujah
My hallelujah
Ya'll, His cross has made a way, what am I going to let steal my Hallelujah? I hope I can say nothing! Truth though, it's hard in life (and adding fostering to it) to remember the war was already won at the cross. And when you forget may you find this song as encouraging and freeing as I have today. So even in the storm of emotions you can find your Hallelujah!
I have found my Hallelujah...friends, meals, check-ins, rides, texts, a hug from a child after they yell at you, the quiet of the night....these are all sweet reminders that God sees.
Hallelujah, to praise God.
