So this past month has been filled with many emotions- happiness, sadness, confusion, tiredness, and excitement. There has been death, broken relationships, new friendships, start of new adventures and many other events. Each was real and effected me in different ways but I felt prepared. Prepared in a sicne that many of these emotions I felt before or I felt prepared to handle.
However yesterday that came to a screeching hault. Though I cannot tell the details of the children's case I can say that yesterday I was heartbroken, scared, possesive and then I had some relief. I am not sure I have ever felt emotions to the degree that I did yestersday. I was worn out by the end of the day. I have worked in and around the foster care system for 6 years and our agency did a great job in their preparation classes but nothing can prepare you for just how easy it is to fall in love with the children in your home. And a result of this love that you have for them is bigger emotions (or at least it did for me). Though yesterday left me worn out it alao a reminder of why we do what we do and that these little ones are worth fighting for. And I know that I am not a "real" parent but I sure felt real emotions and pray that as long as they are here we can be the best "papi" and "mami" we can be.