More Special

It may be because I am hyper sensitive currently, that my days seem to revolve around meetings, notes, therapy and picking up the pieces of a little boy's heart who is hurting, or because we choose to talk about foster care openly and often to anyone who will listen, but I feel like the last few months I have heard this a lot "you are so special, I could not foster children."  Or "you are stronger than me".  

But to be honest, my family is not any more special and I am not stronger by any means.  If you had been at my house two weeks ago you would have seen me cry, seen me get angry, and heard my thoughts about if my family was really cut out for this foster care stuff.   

(Which on a side note made me think of this scene form Instant Family which I also suggest watching.  It's not 100% accurate but it does a great job of highlighting what it means to be a foster/adoptive family)

Last week we got some pretty crummy news about our current little one and I didn't really get a chance to process what this all meant for him because we were busy.  I also found myself thinking this child is just hard and was pretty upset about the news (not for him but for me).

Sunday in our LifeGroup we were talking about "what is your ministry" and "how do your friends spur you on in your ministry".  I must confess over the last few months with our little guy I have forgotten that this is our ministry.  I have seen him as a job, something we do because it's the right thing to do, kids need homes so we give them one.  As I sat in class I was gently reminded that the battle is not me versus the child.   The battle we are fighting is for his life, for his eternity, for his family, for his safety and health both physically and mentally. 

So when you say to my family that we are special or more strong what I want you to know is that we aren't.  We fumble, we get angry, we have bad attitudes and forget the reasons why we do what we do as well.  However I was also reminded Sunday of all those who messed up before me that God uses-Paul, Peter, Moses, the Baskin family, etc.  I love this quote saw this morning (on Lisa Harper's Facebook).

Thankful we get to help others see God's unconditional love.  Thankful for forgiveness when we mess up or forget our ministry.  Thankful for friends and fellow foster families who listen and don't tell you to give up.  So you see, we may not be any more special than you but what I do know is we serve a God who sees us a good enough to be used by Him and for that I am thankful!