So it's 1 am and I should be sleeping but not tonight. It's been a day for the books as in Alexander and the Terrible No Good Very Bad Day (I think I might just go to Australia). I have tried all the normal things to help me sleep, pray, read, watch tv, and ended up scrolling through all the social media outlets. Just something to get my mind off of the events and the adrenaline to wear down.
I have only truly been scared 4 times in my life. All of those time involved children in my home. Once a child got lost, once a child had a mental break down and I no longer felt I could keep him or the other children in my home safe and the other two were medical things with kids. I also usually find myself pretty calm in a crisis. But then there was today....
Back story we have had a summer- we have had a fridge flood the front room, car that would start, a chimney that needs fixed, dryer that died and a dishwasher that gave up. All of these are things and to be honest though annoying I never was mad. I get it things happen. I can remember praying and telling God "hey I trust you to get us through this."
Now back to today, we had a smallish accident that ended us at the doctor's office (all is ok), then I am not kidding not an hour after all kids were back at home, we had to call the paramedics (which side note, everyone was excellent and talked to me so calmly). As I am calling trying to get my husband to answer his phone I could not stop shaking. I finally get a hold of a friend who left her work and came to be here until my husband could get here. I am pretty sure all I said was "I need you, paramedics are on their way." While trying to stay calm on the outside my insides were shaking and I had two other kids who needed to be consoled as well. I was in pure panic mode inside.
Once things had calmed down and we knew my little one was going to be ok I looked at my husband and said " that's it, I officially call defeat and I am quitting. I will try again in the Fall."
So why do I share all of this with you? Two things I have been reminded of today. One, we live in a fallen world. Sin is everywhere and bad things happens-sometimes due to our own fault and sometimes others fault and lots of times just because evil exist. Two, good does still exist. The paramedics, the police officer who stopped by, my friend who left work to get here because I needed help and my husband wasn't home yet, to the friend who watch my kids today and the others who listened and checked in on us. Oh my neighbor even came to pray. What a blessing that was to my heart.
And while I am ready for the summer to be over and want a change of seasons and a new start I pray that we all take time to see the good God has done. Today the evil and good battled over my day, my thoughts and my children but I truly can claim Psalm 34:8